Monday, November 06, 2006
if everything yOu wish fOr cOmes true, what wOuld yOu dO?
With great power comes great responsibility.
-- Uncle Ben in Spiderman
Imagine that you have the power to get everything that you wish for.
What would be the outcome?
Perhaps after a disappointingly brief period of exhilaration, you actually get the nagging feeling that this is not that great a power to possess because you do not know how to use it. Perhaps you might experience that after you got what you want the outcome of that may not be what you anticipated. Perhaps you realise that getting all that you want does not equal to getting all that you need because you do not yet have the wisdom to know what you truly need. Perhaps you might even lose interest in life, seeing that you can get whatever your heart desires without having to work for it, without surprises, without any tinge of suffering the space of anticipation. Perhaps you might even become ashamed of wishing for and receiving petty, frivolous things when you see others around you unable to get their basic needs met no matter how hard they tried. Perhaps you might decide to use your power to benefit others whether or not they exploit your generosity. Perhaps you might develop a sense of urgency over the need to learn how to understand and refine your mind so that unfortunate and downright evil thoughts are eliminated and do not accidentally get wished into existance by you, to the detriment of yourself and others. Perhaps you might start to own up to the direct effect your mind and actions have over the happiness of all others and begin to live not just for yourself. Perhaps you might learn that being able to get what you wish for does not automatically mean more happiness for you and that it is how you use the power with compassion and wisdom that brings you happiness.
Consider this seriously. Consider it for a while.
Because when your mind is clear and your heart is peaceful,
you will see that you already have this power.
. . .
The following is an exerpt from p. 324/5, Full Catastrophe Living: How to cope with stress, pain and illness using mindfulness meditation by Jon Kabat-Zinn
One of the major sources of suffering in our lives is that we usually want to have things our way. Thus when things happen that we like, we feel that everything is going our way and we feel happy. And when things "go against us", when they do not happen the way we want or the way we expected or planned for, then we tend to feel thwarted, frustrated, angry, wounded, unhappy, and we suffer.
The irony is that often we really don't know what our way is, even though we want to have it all the time. If we got what we want, we usually want something else in addition. The mind keeps finding new things that it needs in order to feel happy or fulfilled. In this regard, it is rarely satisfied with things as they are for very long, even if things are relatively peaceful and satisfying.
When little children get upset because they can't have everything they see that they like to have, we are apt to tell them "You can't always have your own way." And when they say, "Why not" we say, "Because" or "You'll understand when you grow up." But this is a fiction we perpetrate on them. In fact, most of the time we grown-ups don't behave as if we understand life any better than our children do. We want to have things our own way too. We just want different things than they do. Don't we get just as upset when things don't turn out as we want them to? We find it easy to smile at their childishness or to get angry at it, depending on our own state of mind. Perhaps we have just learned how to hide our feelings better.
To break out of this trap of always being driven by our own desires, it is not a bad exercise to ask yourself from time to time, "What is my own way?" "What do I really want?" "Would I know it if I get it?" "Does everything have to be 'perfect' right now, for me to be happy?"
Alternatively, you might ask yourself, "Is everything already basically okay right now?" "Am I just not noticing the ways in which things are good because my mind keeps coming up with ideas for what it has to have or has to get rid of before I can be happy, just like a child?" Or, if that is not the case, you might go on to ask, "Are there specific steps that I can take, seeing my unhappiness right now, that would help me to move toward greater peace and harmony in my life?" "Are there decisions I could make that would help me to find my own way?" "Do I have any power to chart my own way, or am I fated to live out the rest of my life unable to experience happiness or peace because of fate, because of the decisions I made or that we made for me decades ago, perhaps when I was young and silly, or blind, or insecure, or more unaware than I am now?"
If you practice incorporating asking yourself about your own way into your meditation practice, you will find that it is very effective in bringing you back to the present moment. You might try sitting with the question "Right now, what is my own way?" It is sufficient to ask the question. Trying to answer it is not necessary. It is more fruitful just to ponder the question, keeping it alive from moment to moment, listening for the response from within your own heart. "What is my own way?" "What is my own way?"
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
-- Uncle Ben in Spiderman
Imagine that you have the power to get everything that you wish for.
What would be the outcome?
Perhaps after a disappointingly brief period of exhilaration, you actually get the nagging feeling that this is not that great a power to possess because you do not know how to use it. Perhaps you might experience that after you got what you want the outcome of that may not be what you anticipated. Perhaps you realise that getting all that you want does not equal to getting all that you need because you do not yet have the wisdom to know what you truly need. Perhaps you might even lose interest in life, seeing that you can get whatever your heart desires without having to work for it, without surprises, without any tinge of suffering the space of anticipation. Perhaps you might even become ashamed of wishing for and receiving petty, frivolous things when you see others around you unable to get their basic needs met no matter how hard they tried. Perhaps you might decide to use your power to benefit others whether or not they exploit your generosity. Perhaps you might develop a sense of urgency over the need to learn how to understand and refine your mind so that unfortunate and downright evil thoughts are eliminated and do not accidentally get wished into existance by you, to the detriment of yourself and others. Perhaps you might start to own up to the direct effect your mind and actions have over the happiness of all others and begin to live not just for yourself. Perhaps you might learn that being able to get what you wish for does not automatically mean more happiness for you and that it is how you use the power with compassion and wisdom that brings you happiness.
Consider this seriously. Consider it for a while.
Because when your mind is clear and your heart is peaceful,
you will see that you already have this power.
. . .
The following is an exerpt from p. 324/5, Full Catastrophe Living: How to cope with stress, pain and illness using mindfulness meditation by Jon Kabat-Zinn
One of the major sources of suffering in our lives is that we usually want to have things our way. Thus when things happen that we like, we feel that everything is going our way and we feel happy. And when things "go against us", when they do not happen the way we want or the way we expected or planned for, then we tend to feel thwarted, frustrated, angry, wounded, unhappy, and we suffer.
The irony is that often we really don't know what our way is, even though we want to have it all the time. If we got what we want, we usually want something else in addition. The mind keeps finding new things that it needs in order to feel happy or fulfilled. In this regard, it is rarely satisfied with things as they are for very long, even if things are relatively peaceful and satisfying.
When little children get upset because they can't have everything they see that they like to have, we are apt to tell them "You can't always have your own way." And when they say, "Why not" we say, "Because" or "You'll understand when you grow up." But this is a fiction we perpetrate on them. In fact, most of the time we grown-ups don't behave as if we understand life any better than our children do. We want to have things our own way too. We just want different things than they do. Don't we get just as upset when things don't turn out as we want them to? We find it easy to smile at their childishness or to get angry at it, depending on our own state of mind. Perhaps we have just learned how to hide our feelings better.
To break out of this trap of always being driven by our own desires, it is not a bad exercise to ask yourself from time to time, "What is my own way?" "What do I really want?" "Would I know it if I get it?" "Does everything have to be 'perfect' right now, for me to be happy?"
Alternatively, you might ask yourself, "Is everything already basically okay right now?" "Am I just not noticing the ways in which things are good because my mind keeps coming up with ideas for what it has to have or has to get rid of before I can be happy, just like a child?" Or, if that is not the case, you might go on to ask, "Are there specific steps that I can take, seeing my unhappiness right now, that would help me to move toward greater peace and harmony in my life?" "Are there decisions I could make that would help me to find my own way?" "Do I have any power to chart my own way, or am I fated to live out the rest of my life unable to experience happiness or peace because of fate, because of the decisions I made or that we made for me decades ago, perhaps when I was young and silly, or blind, or insecure, or more unaware than I am now?"
If you practice incorporating asking yourself about your own way into your meditation practice, you will find that it is very effective in bringing you back to the present moment. You might try sitting with the question "Right now, what is my own way?" It is sufficient to ask the question. Trying to answer it is not necessary. It is more fruitful just to ponder the question, keeping it alive from moment to moment, listening for the response from within your own heart. "What is my own way?" "What is my own way?"