Wednesday, October 18, 2006
self fulfilling prOphecy
I like watching The Apprentice which had started a new season Sunday evening on TV. For those of you unfamiliar with this, it is a “reality show” by Donald Trump where contestants compete with each other to be the final one left not “fired” by The Donald and “hired” by him to be part of his “business empire”. Rather than seeking sadistic enjoyment from watching people fail at their tasks and getting kicked out of the game each week, what I enjoy really in this show is see people rising up to their potential.
In the first episode, there’s a guy with an exceptionally high IQ who turned out to be a let down in terms of leadership – he nearly escaped getting axed simply because there was someone else who got on The Donald’s nerves by foolishly interrupting him incessantly. Many of the contestants are otherwise successful and bright individuals in their own right but how come some do well when met with challenges and some can’t seem to function at all?
I think the difference is self-knowledge. Looking back at the previous seasons, the best leaders and workers, whether naturally talented or not, seem to have an understanding of who they really are and how they relate to those around them. They have a goal and they have motivation because they realise their own potential and limitations and they take a responsibility for actualising their potential and overcoming their limitations: knowing that undertapping on their inner resources is ultimately being a disappointment unto themselves. There is little internal doubt about what they can do because they can clearly see the distance between their expectations and the reality before them. I think this kind of self-accountability is very much evident to those around them and people are attracted by this kind of intergrity as it inspires them to want to perform up to their expectations too.
It is hard to be honest to our self. In yoga, one of the core ethical precepts is satya or truth. This is sometimes translated as the trait of “non-lying”. But to put this in a positive, proactive perspective, when we practice satya it does not mean that we simply refrain from stating untruths but we act according to truth. We commit to the truth. If we know that exercise is good for us, then we need to practise and not find excuses to stray away from our regular sessions. If we know that meditation practice brings us inner peace and harmony, then we need to invest the kind of energy into it that brings our practice into fruition. If we know we need to cultivate compassion, we cannot let a harsh word escape our mouths. We cannot allow ourselves to sell ourselves short. You may find this is hard to actualise. But why?
Why do we underperform when we are fully aware that we could have done better? How is it that we let ourselves sabotage our own efforts to excel? Are we born under-achievers?
I once did an IQ test. I won’t go into the specifics but when I got the test results I was embarrassed. Perhaps it was the other kids at school who knew about it and teased that made me feel I wanted to dumb down so that I can fit in. I did not want to be labelled “the genius” as much as I did not want to be labelled “the idiot”. I just wanted to fit in. I coasted through exams after that where I knew I could ace if I worked harder. And I ticked random choices at the multiple choice section in the next IQ test. The rest is history.
I sailed through my career choices and working life too before I practised yoga when I just cruised through jobs which I thought were interesting enough but didn’t really put in the kind of effort that would trailblaze. “Just do enough to get by, why waste effort on things that don’t really matter all that much anyway? It’s not like you’re going to get recognised for your efforts anyway! Why work so hard and make yourself suffer more?”, I thought. For some other reason, I went through another IQ test at that time and the results reminded me of the first test. Both had pointed that I should be a university professor, an inventor, or some kind of leader.
When I examined the gulf between that and the reality of what I choose to spend my daily efforts in, I experienced a kind of disappointment that I would really rather do without. I had based my actions and the amount of effort I invested in tasks on what I thought people expected of me. The problem with this, my friends, is that usually people did not expect much from you at all! And when they do have any expectations, usually, the expect the worst from you! Hahaha. What an unrealiable and terrible yardstick of your performance! When I look back now I realised that there was a load of resentment seething within me at the time. I knew that I have not lived to my potential and I was far from being true to myself. I need to validate my actions and performance based on something more real than what people randomly thought of me and how they reward my efforts. But at that time, all I know is that somehow I am feeling that I am being less than I can be and this is robbing my daily tasks of significance. Yet, unpleasant as this feeling might have been, there is no real push for change. So I continued to let the feeling gnaw within me and dragged my feet about life, wrapped in a cloud of futility.
After I took up yoga, the push for change came. I realised that knowing is never as cool as doing. We know we want happiness but few really make happiness. We know we are capable of love, few invest real effort into action that will free people from misery. It doesn’t take a genius to know if we are living in happiness or not, whether what we are doing brings us satisfaction or not, whether we are giving and receiving love or not. All it takes is simple honesty to own up to the truths that we hold within and simple wisdom to live up to these truths. We rise up to the challenge of actualising the potential for good that lies within us: we make real what we know is good. And we do this in every day, in every way, each task is not spared, each word comes from this sacred core of authenticity. We strive to excel not because of the force of mindless discipline but because we have aligned ourself with our inner wisdom and we choose to do right by it.
I read the biography of Mahatma Gandhi and his story woke me up to the power and urgency of practising what you preach. He took the twin ethics of satya (Truth) and ahimsa (Peace or non-violence) and made the way he lived a living example of these principles. What I understood from his words and example is that once you know what is right, there is no other way you should live but by what is right. To do any less is to fail yourself and also to doom humanity to failure. To live as a champion of truth and peace is not just to rise to the highest potential of being human, it IS being human. To live in ignorance of truth that you realise only in your heart is to live forever conflicted, within yourself and with the outside world. The distance from the reality of your actions to the reality you realise in your heart is your personal performance yardstick.
Then I knew what I had to do, spend all my time, effort, abilities to bring real help, happiness and humanity into existence. . . and never stray from the truth in my heart again. The scale of what I can do may not be big but it must be total, complete, all choices stem from this, each step taken from this heart. In this way, no task becomes so mundane as to rob me of my humanity again. The kind of satisfaction, contentment and joy of living in this way is a constant source of motivation to carry on, a constant validation of your life. The kind of satisfaction, contentment and joy of living in this way is the aim of yoga. You live as well as you, a temporary package of problems and promise, can. As happy as you can be to see someone else rise to a challenge and excel, there is utter happiness in seeing yourself rise to the challenge of life and put in your best effort, in the face of self-centredness, cynicism and passivity impoverishing the spirits of our society today. Walk on, in truth, in joy, in courage, even if you walk alone.
Cast off pretense and self-deception and see yourself as you really are.
Despite all appearances, no one is really evil.
They are led astray by ignorance.
If you ponder this truth always you will offer more light,
rather than blame and condendation.
You, no less than all beings, have Buddha Nature within.
Your essential Mind is pure.
Therefore, when defilements cause you to stumble and fall,
let not remorse nor dark foreboding cast you down.
Be of good cheer and with this understanding, summon strength and walk on.
- exerpt from Dhammavadaka
. . .
If they answer not to thy call walk alone,
If they are afraid and cower mutely facing the wall,
O thou of evil luck,
open thy mind and speak out alone.
If they turn away, and desert you when crossing the wilderness,
O thou of evil luck,
trample the thorns under thy tread,
and along the blood-lined track travel alone.
If they do not hold up the light when the night is troubled with storm,
O thou of evil luck,
with the thunder flame of pain ignite thy own heart
and let it burn alone.
- Ekla Chalo Re, by Rabindranath Tagore, a favourite song of Gandhi
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
In the first episode, there’s a guy with an exceptionally high IQ who turned out to be a let down in terms of leadership – he nearly escaped getting axed simply because there was someone else who got on The Donald’s nerves by foolishly interrupting him incessantly. Many of the contestants are otherwise successful and bright individuals in their own right but how come some do well when met with challenges and some can’t seem to function at all?
I think the difference is self-knowledge. Looking back at the previous seasons, the best leaders and workers, whether naturally talented or not, seem to have an understanding of who they really are and how they relate to those around them. They have a goal and they have motivation because they realise their own potential and limitations and they take a responsibility for actualising their potential and overcoming their limitations: knowing that undertapping on their inner resources is ultimately being a disappointment unto themselves. There is little internal doubt about what they can do because they can clearly see the distance between their expectations and the reality before them. I think this kind of self-accountability is very much evident to those around them and people are attracted by this kind of intergrity as it inspires them to want to perform up to their expectations too.
It is hard to be honest to our self. In yoga, one of the core ethical precepts is satya or truth. This is sometimes translated as the trait of “non-lying”. But to put this in a positive, proactive perspective, when we practice satya it does not mean that we simply refrain from stating untruths but we act according to truth. We commit to the truth. If we know that exercise is good for us, then we need to practise and not find excuses to stray away from our regular sessions. If we know that meditation practice brings us inner peace and harmony, then we need to invest the kind of energy into it that brings our practice into fruition. If we know we need to cultivate compassion, we cannot let a harsh word escape our mouths. We cannot allow ourselves to sell ourselves short. You may find this is hard to actualise. But why?
Why do we underperform when we are fully aware that we could have done better? How is it that we let ourselves sabotage our own efforts to excel? Are we born under-achievers?
I once did an IQ test. I won’t go into the specifics but when I got the test results I was embarrassed. Perhaps it was the other kids at school who knew about it and teased that made me feel I wanted to dumb down so that I can fit in. I did not want to be labelled “the genius” as much as I did not want to be labelled “the idiot”. I just wanted to fit in. I coasted through exams after that where I knew I could ace if I worked harder. And I ticked random choices at the multiple choice section in the next IQ test. The rest is history.
I sailed through my career choices and working life too before I practised yoga when I just cruised through jobs which I thought were interesting enough but didn’t really put in the kind of effort that would trailblaze. “Just do enough to get by, why waste effort on things that don’t really matter all that much anyway? It’s not like you’re going to get recognised for your efforts anyway! Why work so hard and make yourself suffer more?”, I thought. For some other reason, I went through another IQ test at that time and the results reminded me of the first test. Both had pointed that I should be a university professor, an inventor, or some kind of leader.
When I examined the gulf between that and the reality of what I choose to spend my daily efforts in, I experienced a kind of disappointment that I would really rather do without. I had based my actions and the amount of effort I invested in tasks on what I thought people expected of me. The problem with this, my friends, is that usually people did not expect much from you at all! And when they do have any expectations, usually, the expect the worst from you! Hahaha. What an unrealiable and terrible yardstick of your performance! When I look back now I realised that there was a load of resentment seething within me at the time. I knew that I have not lived to my potential and I was far from being true to myself. I need to validate my actions and performance based on something more real than what people randomly thought of me and how they reward my efforts. But at that time, all I know is that somehow I am feeling that I am being less than I can be and this is robbing my daily tasks of significance. Yet, unpleasant as this feeling might have been, there is no real push for change. So I continued to let the feeling gnaw within me and dragged my feet about life, wrapped in a cloud of futility.
After I took up yoga, the push for change came. I realised that knowing is never as cool as doing. We know we want happiness but few really make happiness. We know we are capable of love, few invest real effort into action that will free people from misery. It doesn’t take a genius to know if we are living in happiness or not, whether what we are doing brings us satisfaction or not, whether we are giving and receiving love or not. All it takes is simple honesty to own up to the truths that we hold within and simple wisdom to live up to these truths. We rise up to the challenge of actualising the potential for good that lies within us: we make real what we know is good. And we do this in every day, in every way, each task is not spared, each word comes from this sacred core of authenticity. We strive to excel not because of the force of mindless discipline but because we have aligned ourself with our inner wisdom and we choose to do right by it.
I read the biography of Mahatma Gandhi and his story woke me up to the power and urgency of practising what you preach. He took the twin ethics of satya (Truth) and ahimsa (Peace or non-violence) and made the way he lived a living example of these principles. What I understood from his words and example is that once you know what is right, there is no other way you should live but by what is right. To do any less is to fail yourself and also to doom humanity to failure. To live as a champion of truth and peace is not just to rise to the highest potential of being human, it IS being human. To live in ignorance of truth that you realise only in your heart is to live forever conflicted, within yourself and with the outside world. The distance from the reality of your actions to the reality you realise in your heart is your personal performance yardstick.
Then I knew what I had to do, spend all my time, effort, abilities to bring real help, happiness and humanity into existence. . . and never stray from the truth in my heart again. The scale of what I can do may not be big but it must be total, complete, all choices stem from this, each step taken from this heart. In this way, no task becomes so mundane as to rob me of my humanity again. The kind of satisfaction, contentment and joy of living in this way is a constant source of motivation to carry on, a constant validation of your life. The kind of satisfaction, contentment and joy of living in this way is the aim of yoga. You live as well as you, a temporary package of problems and promise, can. As happy as you can be to see someone else rise to a challenge and excel, there is utter happiness in seeing yourself rise to the challenge of life and put in your best effort, in the face of self-centredness, cynicism and passivity impoverishing the spirits of our society today. Walk on, in truth, in joy, in courage, even if you walk alone.
Cast off pretense and self-deception and see yourself as you really are.
Despite all appearances, no one is really evil.
They are led astray by ignorance.
If you ponder this truth always you will offer more light,
rather than blame and condendation.
You, no less than all beings, have Buddha Nature within.
Your essential Mind is pure.
Therefore, when defilements cause you to stumble and fall,
let not remorse nor dark foreboding cast you down.
Be of good cheer and with this understanding, summon strength and walk on.
- exerpt from Dhammavadaka
. . .
If they answer not to thy call walk alone,
If they are afraid and cower mutely facing the wall,
O thou of evil luck,
open thy mind and speak out alone.
If they turn away, and desert you when crossing the wilderness,
O thou of evil luck,
trample the thorns under thy tread,
and along the blood-lined track travel alone.
If they do not hold up the light when the night is troubled with storm,
O thou of evil luck,
with the thunder flame of pain ignite thy own heart
and let it burn alone.
- Ekla Chalo Re, by Rabindranath Tagore, a favourite song of Gandhi