Saturday, January 14, 2006
anicca
Things change
All the time
You can never really hold on to anything.
We imagine that it will cause us to live in a constant state of anxiety if we become aware of this all the time. Yet the reverse is true. When you accept the relentless changeability of everthing, you begin to. . . RELAX as you see life anew -- with a deep appreciation of the basic changeful nature of all phenomena -- you cherish all that life sweeps onto your doorstep and never experience deep despair when you lose something.
Letting go is not denial, it is acceptance. You accept that change is the DNA of life. There simply is no life without it. Then you stop grasping at things and begin to treasure all you already have in your hands. As I began to start up the new yoga studio, occassionally, I just have to sit down and digest all the good fortunes and misfortunes that have led me to where I am sitting. Especially after a hard day of work, when the rush fades for a bit, I realise something again and again. No matter how hard I tried at keeping things together and making each task perfect, I just keep feeling everything constantly slipping away from me, each at different speeds but with a kind of natural momentum, with a certain inevitability. I sit with the emotion for a while. It is a subtle feeling and I know I can easily dismiss it to the back of my mind while I focus on the nittygritty of the day's work. But from my meditation practice, I know this is something worth exploring. It could be an opportunity to learn something. I wait with the emotion and let it come under scrutiny.
It has a nauseating feeling because it has that raw touch of being something true and undeniable. Then you know that there you are staring at the face of ultimate reality. This is what we invented beliefs to avoid having to deal with. Perhaps it's what you do with these anxious moments that shape your destiny. This is the raw material of our existence. Things change. That's unchangeable. So what? Panic? Despair? Or. . . accept this and work with it! You begin to live "lighter". When things work out -- ok, but it will change. When things don't work out -- ok, but it will change. We usually only want things to change when they are not to our liking. Then when something that is to our liking changes for the worse, we scream "bloody murder"! How can this biased way of living work? An appreciation of change gives you an real sense of appreciation for all you happen to have -- at the moment you have them. Which is great because, when you only appreciate things when they are gone then you live in regret all the time! It also gives you an unshakeable optimism that is not based on an external source of reassurance (and that's one cool thing to have because no one can take that away from you) it is simply based on knowing that no matter how bad things are right now, in the very next moment, there is already the possibility for a turn of events.
While we can understand all this intellectually, I hope that you have the opportunity to realise the truth of anicca, or the truth of the changeability of all things, through your own experience. Because encountered in this way, the lesson learnt is imprinted deep and your entire being is "re-wired" for good and you stop living in delusion, in "change denial". Slowing down, developing awareness, yoga and meditation practices all help in the effort. But all we need really is to be still and observe -- as fish become aware of the water all around them, we become aware of anicca.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
All the time
You can never really hold on to anything.
We imagine that it will cause us to live in a constant state of anxiety if we become aware of this all the time. Yet the reverse is true. When you accept the relentless changeability of everthing, you begin to. . . RELAX as you see life anew -- with a deep appreciation of the basic changeful nature of all phenomena -- you cherish all that life sweeps onto your doorstep and never experience deep despair when you lose something.
Letting go is not denial, it is acceptance. You accept that change is the DNA of life. There simply is no life without it. Then you stop grasping at things and begin to treasure all you already have in your hands. As I began to start up the new yoga studio, occassionally, I just have to sit down and digest all the good fortunes and misfortunes that have led me to where I am sitting. Especially after a hard day of work, when the rush fades for a bit, I realise something again and again. No matter how hard I tried at keeping things together and making each task perfect, I just keep feeling everything constantly slipping away from me, each at different speeds but with a kind of natural momentum, with a certain inevitability. I sit with the emotion for a while. It is a subtle feeling and I know I can easily dismiss it to the back of my mind while I focus on the nittygritty of the day's work. But from my meditation practice, I know this is something worth exploring. It could be an opportunity to learn something. I wait with the emotion and let it come under scrutiny.
It has a nauseating feeling because it has that raw touch of being something true and undeniable. Then you know that there you are staring at the face of ultimate reality. This is what we invented beliefs to avoid having to deal with. Perhaps it's what you do with these anxious moments that shape your destiny. This is the raw material of our existence. Things change. That's unchangeable. So what? Panic? Despair? Or. . . accept this and work with it! You begin to live "lighter". When things work out -- ok, but it will change. When things don't work out -- ok, but it will change. We usually only want things to change when they are not to our liking. Then when something that is to our liking changes for the worse, we scream "bloody murder"! How can this biased way of living work? An appreciation of change gives you an real sense of appreciation for all you happen to have -- at the moment you have them. Which is great because, when you only appreciate things when they are gone then you live in regret all the time! It also gives you an unshakeable optimism that is not based on an external source of reassurance (and that's one cool thing to have because no one can take that away from you) it is simply based on knowing that no matter how bad things are right now, in the very next moment, there is already the possibility for a turn of events.
While we can understand all this intellectually, I hope that you have the opportunity to realise the truth of anicca, or the truth of the changeability of all things, through your own experience. Because encountered in this way, the lesson learnt is imprinted deep and your entire being is "re-wired" for good and you stop living in delusion, in "change denial". Slowing down, developing awareness, yoga and meditation practices all help in the effort. But all we need really is to be still and observe -- as fish become aware of the water all around them, we become aware of anicca.